I've been feeling listless for, oh, maybe the last two years. I got a new job that was less stressful but it quickly turned into having not enough to do. And I think sometimes boredom is more dangerous than stress. I started to feel like I had lost purpose as a social worker. I became angry and frustrated at my job and my agency. I blamed myself for being lulled into despondency. I started to think that maybe I didn't deserve more, that I was ungrateful for not appreciating my good fortune to have a job. I became apathetic about social ills. There are so many and I can't do anything about it, mostly because I wasn't doing anything in my job to address them. And I doubted the point of social work and tried in vain to remember why I had chosen this field. I fished around for other jobs. I even considered PeaceCorps. I tried to buy a condo. I couldn't find any meaning in life anymore, because I was not fulfilling my purpose through my work.
Well. A transfer request I had made a year ago was granted today. I will be starting a new position within my same agency: working with meatier issues (yes!) and kids in foster care (yes!) and also expanding into working mobily from home (yes! yes!). Just when I was giving up that life can be passionate and interesting. Woohoo! Back into the fray!
