This week has run me to the ground. Assignments piled on assignments. Sleep deficit upon sleep deficit. I don't think I've been more stressed than at any other time in my life.
So I decided to take a self-care holiday this afternoon after my field placement. I went running out in the sunshine. Then napped on the floor of my room. And, on a whim, attended my first yoga class, which ended up having the whopping attendance of one: me! If was a free class through the coops. This was the second. The first had only an attendance of two. Having never done yoga before, I've always been intimidated by the prospect of having to "perform" in front of a group of experienced people, so this was actually the perfect setting for me. The instructor, unfortunaley, was rather disappointed at her tiny class and could not keep the disappointment out of her voice for some time. I rather enjoyed it, in any case, and found that I'm pretty flexible. I surprised the instructor as well. Three cheers for the lotus position!
Afterwards, I attended an interfaith peace ceremony that my friend's roommate was performing in. It had religious leaders representing Native American spiritualism, Judiasm, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam. In some ways moving. In some ways incongruous. It ended with everyone joining hands and dancing in a circle to the beat of a Native American drummer. I watched but did not partake. I was not moved as I needed to be to really participate in the circle of qi, though I did pick a river rock that was annointed with water blessed from all the represented religions. Lucky rock? Holy rock? I'm not sure what I'll do with it, but hopefully nothing blasphemous or sacrilegious. Like partaking of communion, if my purpose in keeping it is not pure, it will be a blight, not a blessing.
I've done more "spiritual" connecting with myself and others than I have done in a long time. But I don't feel anymore whole for having done anything. I think my mind body, and soul just need more sleep.
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"The Garden" by Andrew Marvell
How vainly men themselves amaze
To win the Palm, the Oak, or Bayes;
And their uncessant Labours see
Crowned from some single Herb or Tree,
Whose short and narrow-vergèd Shade
Does prudently their toils upbraid;
While all the flowers and trees do close
To weave the garlands of repose.
Fair Quiet, have I found thee here,
And Innocence, thy sister dear!
Mistaken long, I sought you then
In busy companies of men:
Your sacred plants, if here below,
Only among the plants will grow ;
Society is all but rude,
To this delicious Solitude...
Here at the fountain's sliding foot,
Or at some fruit-tree's mossy root,
Casting the body's vest aside,
My soul into the boughs does glide :
There like a bird it sits and sings,
Then whets and combs its silver wings ;
And, till prepared for longer flight,
Waves in its plumes the various light.
Meanwhile the Mind, from pleasure less,
Withdraws into its happiness :
The Mind, that Ocean where each kind
Does streight its own resemblance find ;
Yet it creates, transcending these,
Far other Worlds, and other Seas;
Annihilating all that's made
To a Green thought in a green Shade...
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