Monday, August 10, 2009
For goodness sake
I just finished reading Nick Hornby's How To Be Good. I didn't encounter verbal artistry to coo over, but the book got under my skin, which is maybe the genius of it. One theme it hits, alongside the narrative of a family struggling along and a ridiculous spiritual healer with turtle broaches pierced to his eyebrows, is how does one be good? What do you owe to society, to the poor, to injustice, to meanness? How much should we feel guilty and take responsibility for the shittiness of the world we live in and the ugly side of humanity. I think what shocked me a bit is how much I didn't care for any kind of sanctimony anymore. I don't know if it has to do with getting older or having turned "charity" into my career by doing social work, but the desperate need to change the world now to right so much socially constructed inequality has puttered out of me. The righteous indignation and inability to understand how there can be so much ill in the world has been replaced with an easy satisfaction with knowing that things are the way they are. It's enough to keep myself together and not get depressed or mean or unsatisfied with life. Maybe it's also the futility that I learned in doing social work as well, that you have limits to what you can do and the world will stumble merrily along in it's usual fucked up state with or without my intervention. It sure takes the pressure off. Also some of the sense of purpose though. So what's left? How do you be good?
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8 comments:
Nothing is inherently good or bad. It's just how society views it. All you can hope for is to keep doing the things you value and be true to yourself. Ultimately in the end, it's your own opinion of yourself that matters the most. As long as you are happy with the kind of person you are, why should society's opinion matter?
I'm not claiming to speak for Society, but WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'm your friend of about a decade and *I* think you're a good person. I also know that you work in a hard, draining, often "thankless" field. Overall, though, you're awesome, fantastic, etc. No more Hornby for you. At least not until your past experiencing some post-bday blues. (Per Dee, it keeps getting better from here. I'm a little behind her, but will agree for now =)
Dammit. "you're" not "your"
oh no, i'm not even talking about society or societal expectations of doing good. more like just my own sens of what is good has changed. i think it has turned into a belief in the inherent good in people and the desire to honor that in everyone. hard to do. everyone is capable of good and deserves to be treated so. and honoring the good in others does not negate class or inequality--or maybe it does.
Everyone has a moral compass that drives them. What it comes down to is not if it's good or bad, but if you feel comfortable doing it. If yes, then your mind perceives it as "doing good." If not, then your mind will let you know through your conscience. Just be yourself and things will be fine. Life has a strange way of working out like that.
OK, putting aside sociopaths (including tyrants and everyday oppressors) who express a patent disregard for human life, I'm glad to hear of your changed/renewed desire to honor the good and best in people. That's the Jo I know and love.
How to be good? Your only responsibility is to be good to yourself. If everyone can do this, then the world will be a better place.
--Dan--
yeah, that is pretty much what the book i read concludes with. and the difficult journey it is to figure out how to be good to yourself. wow, i'm amazed how much talk this post has generated. i must concoct more incendiary posts!
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